8-28-2024 1:17pm

From Self-Doubt to Self-Confidence Part 1

Ypsilanti PressLLC Editor

Dr. Hashim AlZain

From Self-Doubt to Self-Confidence: Understanding where it Comes from and How to Circumvent it

Killing me Softly with Self-Doubt

As we grow older and somewhere along our development, a pattern of thinking starts to emerge, which leads us to experience self-doubt. These could have originated from parents imposing excessively high standards, being compared to others, experiencing shame as an adolescent, being bullied at school, underperforming at school, or even growing-up in a toxic family dynamic. If we’re not careful and allow these patterns to repeat themselves many times in our consciousness, they’ll tend to morph into entrenched limiting beliefs that kill our confidence and prevent us from expressing our innate potential.

Self-doubt is defined as the experience of feelings uncertain about one or more aspects of yourself. Self-doubt may stem from previous negative experiences or from attachment issues. Those with insecure attachments may have experience being criticized in the past, which can contribute towards self-doubt later in their lives. Now, I don’t want to elaborate on how self-doubt is learned, but what I will talk about is how I’ve observed the debilitating impact of how self-doubt robs people of the joy of living their lives to the fullest.

What I am going to share with you here in this article is far more pragmatic, where I’ve identified 4 distinct self-doubt Mind Pits that most people are unaware of. Not only will I reveal these Mind Pits so that you can easily recognize them, but I’ll also share stories from my experience about how dedicated habits and discipline can help you climb out of this bottomless pit and stay out of each one. I hope my experience can help free your mind from these dominant thought patterns in an effort to help transform your life as it allows your attention to focus on what you want instead of what’s distracting you.

Self-doubt can creep-in from many corners, affecting people from all walks of life. Here are the 4-self-doubt mind-pits that most people are unaware of that are affecting the quality of their lives on a daily basis:

Failure to Execute
Playing it Safe
Destination Obsession
Comparing Yourself to Others

1. Failure to Execute

One of the primary reasons that keep people stuck in an endless cycle of research, learning, and preparation consuming books, podcasts, Googling, taking courses, and acquiring extra qualifications is the nagging thought of constantly doubting if they’re ready enough. We get stuck in analysis paralysis and quickly get overwhelmed by the fear of starting or failing. We might even procrastinate on tasks due to self-doubt about our abilities.

This thought pattern causes us to be prone to information overload and an insatiable desire to be in the know all the time. In other words, we know what needs to be done, but we don’t do it despite knowing that it needs to be done. There is some form of hesitation and an internal chatter that’s clouding our judgment. So, how do we fall into the cycle of failing to execute? Two overarching themes seem to emerge; contemplation and overthinking, which inevitably leads to procrastination and stagnation.

Overthinking stems from our primitive instinct of self-preservation. In this state of mind, we tend to fixate on worst-case scenarios, where the chatter in our heads tend to cloud our judgment and ask ourselves questions like:

What could go wrong?
What am I missing?
What if I fail?
What would people think about me?
What if I’m not good enough?
What if I’m wrong?
What if I’ve missed something?
Why is everyone so far ahead and why can’t I get started?
What’s wrong with me?

During my early years at DarTec Engineering, I almost filed for bankruptcy many times overdue in large part to self-doubt and an imminent feeling of failure that seemed inescapable. My feeling of self-doubt was amplified by being repeatedly discouraged and rejected by prospect customers, who couldn’t imagine what I can clearly see in my head. I went from being super confident at the beginning of starting DarTec to doubting my skills, knowledge, and experience to the point where I wanted to call it quits. In fact, my self-doubt got so bad that I’ve even considered shifting careers!