Leadership: High-Functioning, Low Joy: Why Women Are Overachieving On Empty

High-Functioning, Low Joy: Why Women Are Overachieving On Empty

ByJess Cording,

Contributor. Forbes Magazine

Jess Cording is a dietitian and health coach who covers wellness. Follow Author May 16, 2025, 12:55pm EDT

Have you been checking off milestones like items on a to-do list instead of taking time to celebrate your wins? Do you smile through gritted teeth? How many times have you burned yourself out working to get to the next level, to hit your next goal, only to find that the target keeps moving? Do you struggle to relax when you finally get a day off? Or have you ever woken up realizing you have no joy in your work but don’t really know where to go from there? Read on for expert tips on identifying what’s driving this pattern and what you can do to break free.

What drives us to stay in constant motion

You likely didn’t map out your future career with the intention of being constantly busy and exhausted, so how did you end up in this pattern?

Amina AlTai is an executive coach and author of The Ambition Trap: How to stop chasing and Start living. She points to shame and perfectionism as factors in why we push ourselves to the limit and beyond. “Shame is the root of most of it. At the bottom of all of this is the feeling for most of us that we are unlovable, unworthy.” We get caught up in thinking that we can prove our worth via the quality of our work and by the volume how much we can do.

“Perfectionism is a survival tactic rooted in imposter syndrome for women and other historically excluded people. A lot of the times, the spaces that we want to be in, we look around and we don’t always see people that look like us. We question our sense of belonging. What happens is when we question our sense of belonging, we tend to double down and work harder to prove to people that we deserve a seat at the table.”

She also points to the fact that they have long been held to different standards than their male counterparts, rarely afforded the same grace when they do fail, amplifying the feeling that they’re not allowed to make mistakes. “Sometimes that impacts our ability to take risks as well,” adds AlTai, “because we’re so worried about a misstep and how it's going to look and what's going to happen to us that we often won't innovate as a result of that.”

Hidden depression and trauma can also be factors that cause us to overwork and overdo. Dr. Judith Joseph is a Columbia-trained psychiatrist, NYU professor and author of High Functioning: Overcome your hidden depression and reclaim your joy. “Many people don’t realize that when they have painful experiences that shape the way that they see the world and the way that they interact in the world, that these are traumas.” Because we’re conditioned to think of trauma as the “big T” stuff, sometimes people overlook the negative experiences that still cause trauma and impact their view of themselves and the world around them. Even when people try to ignore the trauma or push it to the background, says Dr. Joseph, “Over time, that trauma does sneak up in many different ways. It sneaks up in the choices that you make and the people that you love and the way that you view yourself.” This can bleed into workplace dynamics.

And when depression is in the mix, this can take away from feeling joy and a sense of accomplishment, pushing you to just keep going, working towards the next milestone without taking a break to appreciate your achievements.

Look for part 2 of this article. 

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