Part 2 Self Doubt I allowed my mind to believe what others thought I can and can’t do

Dr. Hashim AlZain

It’s kind of scary thinking about the valley of death that I was experiencing at the time because I’ve allowed my mind to believe what others thought I can and can’t do. It wasn’t until I’ve paid a visit to my mom’s place one day, where she noticed that I was down on my luck and very quiet at the dinner table. My mom asked me: “What troubles you my son?” It took me a couple of seconds to respond, where I said: “Mom, I think I’m going to fail because everything I’ve worked for in the last 5-years appears to be wrong and will all go to waste.” I continued: “All of the money that my partner and I have invested in DarTec will never be recovered.” My Mom smiled softly and said: “You might fail, but I highly doubt it!” That’s all it took to ignite the fire within me. It was at that moment when the switch in my head was flipped from self-doubt and defeat to overwhelming confidence and defiance! I shot a look at my Mom and said: “They can tell me what I can and can’t do, but they can’t tell me what I can or can’t become!”

I’ve instantly felt like Iron Man, strapped with booster rockets that propelled me into the stratosphere! I felt like nobody can stop me now, but I had to change my frame of mind before anything could happen. I’ve thought deeply about what I was doing and realized that I was trying to sell people on something that they can’t wrap their hands around! I’ve asked myself, could it be that the concept of Reverse Engineering is so abstract that people can’t imagine what the deliverable would be? It struck me like a bolt of lightning; people simply couldn’t see it! That’s when I’ve decided to repackage what I was offering so that people would know what they were getting. Instead of selling Reverse Engineering as a service with multiple outcomes, I’ve decided to repackage my offering as a Spare Part Localization Service. They’ve instantly got it and knew which box to put me in that their system could accommodate.

Fast Forward a couple of years down the road and DarTec Engineering had become a marvelous success in its own right and a pioneer in localizing the manufacturing of obsolescence mechanical parts using Reverse Engineering in Saudi Arabia. Reflecting back on what had happened to me, DarTec could have vanished from existence had I allowed self-doubt to dominate my thoughts and control my actions. I could have single handedly deprived the Kingdom from reaching greater heights because I’ve allowed toxic words to affect me; causing me to fall into one of the Mind Pits of self-doubt. All it took for me to turn things around for DarTec was to objectively analyze what was happening, see the world from my prospect’s point of view, and act accordingly.

We excessively ponder over what ifs, could of, would of, and that can short-circuit our brains and drive us into madness! This state of mind paralyzes us because overthinking what others think about us fuels our self-doubt, kills our confidence, and leads us to self-criticism. I’m a living example of someone who nearly lost it all because of self-doubt.

2. Playing it Safe

One of the worst feelings in the world is when we exhaust ourselves doing many things at the same time without going anywhere! It’s kind of like trying to get somewhere while running on a treadmill, so much work with very little progress. So, what causes so many high-potential people to start; yet fail to finish?

Self-doubt can lead to hesitation and question whether we’ve made the right decision or not:

• Should I have chosen this over that?
• I think this was the wrong decision!
• Maybe the other thing would have been better for me?
• Is the grass greener on the other side?
• Why am I board and why isn’t there a reward that was once there?

Nothing great ever came out of playing it safe! What ends-up happening is that instead of getting to the finish line, it feels more rewarding to move on to the next fresh and exciting thing. If we allow this cycle to become habitual, then we become stuck in the treading water of playing it safe. In my opinion, the most dangerous thing you can do in your life is playing it safe!

Playing it safe can seem like the smart choice, but there are some hidden downsides to consider:

• Missed Opportunities: By always avoiding risks, we might miss-out on chances to grow, learn new things, and achieve our goals.
• Stagnation: Sticking with what’s familiar can lead to stagnation, where we might not develop our skills or challenge ourselves to know the limits of what we can do, which can hold us back in the long run.
• Indecisiveness: The fear of making the wrong choice can fuel anxiety and make you doubt yourself, which can be a vicious cycle, leading to even more indecision.
• Regret: Later in life, when we look back and reflect on our lives, we’ll regret not taking more chances, and wonder “What If?” about the paths not taken.

I remember the days when I used to be a fulltime employee with a “secured job” at a reputable institution that compensated me well, I used to be very comfortable and relaxed, but unfulfilled. I was wrestling with the decision of whether or not to jump ship and dedicate 100% of my time to my startup company, DarTec Engineering, that I’ve concurrently started when I began working at that institution because I didn’t have a single contract to lean on. It was terrifying for me to leave something secure and “safe” and jump into the unknown. It’s true that I’ve been developing DarTec for 6-years up to that point, but I had nothing in my hand, and it was all mirages.

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